What is love? That’s hard to define. All I know is that love isn’t meant to be a fight. Everyone deserves their sacred union.
When love is a never-ending question about what the other one may think or feel, when maintaining the bond requires shutting down our feelings, when the relationship drains our energy or makes us feel unworthy, then we aren’t speaking of a sacred union.
Love should be softness, love should be joy. Love should come easily.
We might lose ourselves in a relationship when, while the reality is disappointing and shows no sign of getting better, we still believe and hope that the other partner will change. We think that if we wait just a little while longer, even if it seems like an eternity, it could be worth it and things will get better.
We trust, we believe, in a happy ending. So, we make all the efforts in the world to be up to it. But nothing changes. So, we end up blaming ourselves for our lack of patience, of understanding.
We believe that if we make the impossible possible, if we endure time and things, the games will eventually stop. So we stop respecting ourselves, we give up on claiming our truth.
I have realized that there is no need to sacrifice ourselves today, hoping that a hard situation could eventually improve some day. When we get to a place where the relationship has been about making myself unhappy in case something would change for much too long, maybe it would be wise to leave.
Love is very often worth the fight. Very often, people are willing to play their part in the music of the relationship by progressively playing notes that show that they are able to love too.
Love is very often worth the fight, except when the reality says that the other partner can’t offer any love back. Some people just can’t. However strong we think we are, or they are, however powerful the connection may seem, however sunny this could have been, the truth of the present moment is that it isn’t realistic.
We thrive to stay because we believe that our own value depends on the other partner’s love. But this waiting attitude could last forever. While we wait for the other’s attention, we forget about what we truly need and about the value that other people in the world could grant to our beings.
We should ask any romantic partner to what extent they are willing to work on their own blocks and grow in your life. Sometimes, the answer is: Not at all. Sometimes, people only look for windy and low-cost relationships, they prefer to pull people back and avoid feelings, to make sure that no work will be required.
Relationships of any kind need both partners in order to succeed and form a union. However loving, respectful, open-minded and hopeful one may be, however beautiful a relationship could be, there needs to be two to tango.
It’s sad, but nobody is asked in this life to make the impossible, possible.
Everyone deserves a love that isn’t a perpetual battlefield. Everyone deserves their sacred union.
It’s tricky, and it’s scary, because we could always wonder,What if I had done this, said that, waited more? It’s a complex ball-game, because it could never end, and we could never find any clue that would precisely specify the time when you should leave.
But, the only things that we definitely know are: Are we staying true to ourselves there? Are we feeling more empowered with, or without, our partner? The answers to these questions are our final answer. Sometimes, the wisest thing to do is to accept the picture, and take our hearts out of a futile relationship investment.
The key for living the happiest journey possible is to fall in love with ourselves. By locking in a cage the depth of love that we can dedicate to serving other people’s needs, we make our own light impossible to spread.
That’s why, sometimes, a choice has to be made between our own selves and our impossible hopes.
Everyone deserves their sacred union.
So, never choose to abandon your true self on the roadside in the name of a probabilistic possibility of someone else down the road, some day, taking your hand and saying I love you.
Published on Rebelle Society