I hope I’ll get back home before dark. I hope I’ll have enough money, I hope I’ll get the dreamed job. I hope I’ll get there on time. I hope they still have my favorite tea. I hope I’ll find a turquoise blue necklace. I hope I’m his kind.
I hope I’ll get one of the special looks that make you think you’ve been noticed within a whole crowd. I hope he’ll smile at my witticisms. I hope the system will give me its consent. I hope I’ll travel the world. I hope my parents will never die.
I hope the missing ones follow us from where they stand as guardian angels showing up in a clear sky.
I wait for the tube, for the evening, for the Thank God It’s Friday, for the holidays. I wait for another day. I wait for summer. I wait for the right day to go running. I wait for a strawberry and champagne evening. I wait for him to take me to dinner.
I wait for opportunities, for a sign from the Universe, for some kind of positive conspiracy carrying me to my mountains. I wait for someone to draw me a road, I wait for the stars to line up and show me the way.
I wait for the right moment to speak the truth, for the right season to do things.
I wait here before I shine. I wait here before crazy encounters. I wait here before it starts.
I’m still waiting.
Then here she comes. She is a glowing gypsy. She looks feathery, free and airy — her hair is singing in the wind. She is all golden, sparkles in her eyes, freckles on her cheeks, colored jewels tinkling softly. As if stars had decided to meddle in each of the empty parts of her body.
Follow your intuition, listen to your powerful word, even if it drives you to unpredictable paths. Don’t be afraid of challenges. Give it a try, learn; sometimes you’ll fall, but you’ll get back on your feet.
You’re here to learn — learn until you know enough, enough to become yourself. Don’t remain on the mainstream road if it’s not yours.
She leaves, but shows up from time to time in different forms, such as a bird-nest under the house roof, clovers pushing through gravels. Dazzling red flowers majestically standing out in the distance of a green valley, old bridge over a mountain stream.
She comes through unexpected smiles, connected people and endless night talks, as hands of destiny.
Stop dreaming; do. Stop waiting; there’ll never be a better time for you. Reveal your gemstones.
Tame the unpredictable, understand it, face it, it’s part of the game. Don’t hold yourself back.
Then I start creating.
I create a photo frame. I create a turquoise blue necklace. I create Christmas tree bulbs, I create a poem.
I create my own objectives. I create a new career. I create passion at work. I create my self-taught stuff.
I create love. I create treasured memories. I create my lessons. I create chilled joy. I create bridges towards them, even when they don’t grasp it — even when they are a rose’s thorns.
I create my oxygen. I create my coffee breaks. I create my faraway escapes. I create my breathtaking sights.
I create my opportunities. I create my inspiring days. Icreate my art evenings. I create my selfish moments. I create my clouded mornings. I create my weak afternoons. I create my unreasonable nights.
I create new journeys opening new doors — never mind if I’m the first to take the path, never mind if I don’t manage to remain tied to one view, never mind if I change my mind.
I create what had always run through my veins. I create what I had stored into a jewelry box of my heart. I create what I had hidden in a recess of my mind.
I create each day a new step. I create my own project. I create a road under construction. I create a work-in-progress life.
I create my answers. I create my endless questionings. I create my still have ideas.
I create my boldness. I create my butterfly nervousness. I create my uncatchable freedom. I create my own rules. I create my weapons against fears.
And whenever she comes back, she says, “Try, keep learning, and become.”
That’s how I’m becoming. Through creation. Actually that’s true, I don’t always manage to have a single idea in mind. But in a way, my personal focus does exist. It’s an approach to things.
The way I tend to live the days, and hope they will leave a strong mark on the woman I’ll be in a week, in a month, in a year, and on the ones I love. My goal is to never think time has been wasted.
That’s why I like creating, in many ways. Not only creating Art as we imagine, but also creating life visions, poetry, ideas, new angles to love and to enjoy life.
This has been my way to stop waiting. To throw myself in life as I would have launched a kite in the sky. Without safety barriers. As spontaneously as a gypsy free soul is enjoying life.
Published on Rebelle Society