We tend to be obsessed with the future.
We plan it as much as we can, trying to build the best possible one.
In a way, that’s why we do our best — here and now– to focus on our previous choices, because we search for a way to make them profitable.
We say that if we are able to stay in this or that position until some kind of promotion or raise in wages, to remain in a relationship for one more year to see if we could finally ease our differences, and to stay close to friends we met a long while ago in case one day they really understand us, we will be victorious.
We also try to stick to what the world seems to be expecting from us, to the mold and life stages everyone follows. Having a steady job, getting married at 28, having children at 30. Hoping these will guarantee a happy future and set the basis for being happy ever after.
But this is behaving as if our present, the moments we actually undertake every day, had no value. As if the only things that mattered was devoting ourselves to some imagined bright future we are not even sure to catch.
However, the truth is that we only live in the present, right here and right now. And time flies, with its possibilities, its opportunities, its lucky coincidences. Old age will get closer, even death will eventually catch up to us.
We are all going to end up there, when we take a look back on what we did and assess if we are pleased with it. We will evaluate if it was indeed the reflection of our potential, the mark we wished to leave behind.
We may all get on that moment when we will ask ourselves if we did something with our life, with the time we had, with all the attractive features we had initially received and all the ones we could have developed.
I want to be wholly happy and proud on that day. I want to be blissed when I will face all these girls and women, all the incarnations I got to take through life. I want to tell them: Hey, look what we have been able to do! We did great.
Yes, time flies, and that’s why we have to make the most of it, by jumping into life and doing what we truly like. By pulling ourselves together and taking up the reins of our life. By stopping the routine of being driven around by people, and being influenced by their visions and ways of life.
You do not like watching the TV shows everybody watches and speaks about at the office? Then, don’t. You will speak about something else, and if you don’t find talking points with them, they may not be the right people to talk to.
You don’t like to wear high heels and push-up bras to make sure your partner will look at you lovingly? Take confidence. If he truly loves you, he will get back on his feet listening to you, looking at you, even when you are dressed differently. If he does not, he may not be the right guy to be with, at least for the moment.
You don’t feel understood, supported when talking to old friends? You spend time with people who just tolerate you, without celebrating you or driving you upwards? Without feeling connected? Don’t lose your time with them. Other people will enter your life, and for sure, some will fit better with your true self.
You will find your best friends and soulmates when you will do the things you truly love.
You feel bored at work, you wish you could quit, but you don’t know what else to do? Simply try and start with having a break, probably alone, so that you can face your inner self, with nobody trying to disturb and no mold to fit in. It will help with listening to yourself and coming up with new ideas.
When we don’t feel at ease somewhere, or with someone, we don’t always have to fight to stay. Sometimes the struggle is worth it, when there is still some hope the situation will change, when some rational fact or intuition actually shows it. If not, let’s face it, things may not get better. In that case, letting go may be the best option.
Letting go is not giving up. Letting go is moving on.
It’s to accept, to face reality, to analyze all that we saw from a given situation and drive a conclusion from it. Sometimes the wiser option is to go away, so that we could gather our energy for something better, for something worth it.
It does not show we are unable to stay. It simply says we saw enough to determine it was not the best option for us.
What’s more, let’s surrender on constantly trying to shape and control our future.
Bright futures actually get naturally created when we are happy in the present. When we progressively create our path amongst people we are happy to stand alongside, and in environments that fit with our personalities.
In that case, there is no reason to stress about what happens next. You just need to keep on working, to keep moving on. It is like being on your way to some holiday destination. If you don’t leave the road, if you don’t go out of the plane, you will eventually reach it.
No need to worry, the only thing to do is our best, right here and right now. Our golden future will be built as a consequence from this.
But this recipe only works when we invest on something we truly like. If we fight and spend our whole energy for things we did not really feel comfortable with, the opposite effect may happen. It will progressively pull us away from ourselves.
By focusing on this fake fight, we may start wearing masks in front of others, and one day we may even forget what we truly wanted, deep inside. And the more remote we go, the longer it lasts, the harder it may be to come back.
Often ask yourself the question, what would you do if you had only one year to live?
Who would you spend time with? What would you stop doing? Come on, do that now! You will find a way.
You are not in jail. You are free to become who you want. And if some of your entourage make you think you are not, take a deep breath and try to analyze why they do not want you to live your own life.
They may just be frightened for you. They may feel they would be unable to do the same if they wanted to.
Or they may simply wish to be in your shoes.
Published on Rebelle Society